Ask me no questions . . .

and I’ll tell you no lies.”

Boendoe het my getag om my siel te ontbloot aan diegene wat wil sien wat daar aangaan. Dis nou met die aanname dat hier lesers is . . .

Dit werk so:

Enige iets wat jy nog ooit van Krista wou weet, maar te ordentlik of onordentlik was om te vra, doen dit nou. Speak! Or forever hold your peace. Jy moet jou vraag / vrae in die kommentaar boksie los en ek moet antwoord – daar of in ‘n inskrywing as daar baie vra is. As ek vir een of ander rede nie wil antwoord nie moet ek ‘n snaakse storie opmaak om te vergoed.

As jy te skaam / ordentlik is om onder jou eie naam te vra, feel free to go Anonymous.”

So vra maar, dan kyk ons.

Ek het nog nie besluit van wie ek wat wil weet nie, so ek dink nog of ek iemand gaan tag.

Krista

Huiswerk van Ogies . . .

Jong, ek is mos nie vreeslik domesticated nie, daarom is ek nie mal oor huiswerk nie – maar hierdie is ok.

As ek Ogies in EEN woord moet beskryf, is dit:

Ongekunssteld/Onpretensieus (sonder hang-ups)

Ek hoop ek het dit reg.

Krista

Girl, Girlie, . . .

Ek het toe myself ‘n tag opgedoen deur Girl van die Suburbs.

Ek lees haar nog nie lank nie en ek ken haar glad nie, maar hier is my try:

Soekend

Ek ervaar in haar ‘n longing . . . ‘n soeke na ware liefde, na die EEN wat haar ander helfte sal wees, die EEN wat vir haar sal wees wat My Lyfie vir my is.

Ek hoop jy kry hom gou . . . moet net nie settle vir 2de plek nie, hoor!

Krista

Uhm, we may have a small problem . . .

Houston, this is the Challenger and I think we might have a small problem. Uhm, several . . . million small problems.

The problem is: there are currently NO swimmers. The results are out. The expected count is: 20 – 250 million. We have: 0.

Possible causes:

• hormones (lack of testosterone – which is being supplemented)
• blockage of tubes (can/can not be fixed – visit to urologist thus coming up)
• sterility (caused by birth defect, genes or injuries)

Hubby’s seeing the GP this coming week for his annual testosterone blood work and prescription and we’re waiting to hear from the gynae about seeing an urologist in the near future.

The waiting just about killed us this week and still the process continues. More tests and more waiting . . .

Hold thumbs pls!

Krista

Why you think?

I think it’s way easier to deal with a problem if you’re not the cause.

For me, it will be easier to handle infertility if something on hubby’s side caused the problem than something on my side. And I think the main reason for that is: I don’t want to dissapoint him.

I think it’s more difficult forgiving yourself and coping with your own imperfections.

And I know it’s the same for him.

Update: labresults on me is back: somewhat low levels of progesterone (treatable), everything else is fine (so far). While we’re waiting for the other results to come in, the gynae suggested giving it another 3 months of trying to get pregnant the natural way (barring something wrong with the lil’ ol’ swimmers). If nothing’s happened by then, we’ll start a 14 day prescription of progesterone.

Another round of waiting . . .

Krista

Scared sh1tless . . .

Update: the swimmers have been dropped by Mrs Delivery at the labs last Friday. I know they don’t, but it feels like everybody who sees you going in there are thinking: “I know what your hubby just did . . .”

“Making” a monster at home is a whole new experience for us – me not being a part of the process. I did not know what to do: do I offer to help, put on a naughty movie, offer some “reading” material . . . what should I do (if anything)? In the end I just told hubby to call me if he needs anything and sat next door reading. I don’t recall getting through 2 pages of my book before it was time to race to the lab . . .

Now we wait . . . R650.00 later and the results should be in on Friday. I’ve alerted the gynae to let us know as soon as they receive the results. And suddenly the questions and thoughts pops into my head – and I’m sure into hubby’s as well: what if the problems is with him, what if it is not, what if the problem lies with me, what if it is not? Will we be able to cope if there’s a problem?

The days seem to drag – yes, I know it’s only been 3 days, but the suspense is clawing away at my insecurities. How far will we have to go to get pregnant? Will we be able to carry full term? Will it be a healthy baby? Will we be good parents? Will we manage?

Can we? Will we? Should we? Must we? Questions, questions, questions . . .

Maybe I should stop asking these questions and try and relax a little . . . wonder if I will be able to put it out of my head till Friday? Lets try . . . nope, the questions will stay until we have an anwer. And I guess new questions will continue to pop up for ever . . . because you just don’t know, do you?

Krista

Invasion . . .

And there we were. I’ve been to the gynae for the yearly check-up. Pap smear and blood test were done. Talked to her about our problem with conceiving and were informed of the next steps to follow/be taken.

First, hubby needs to go for a sperm analysis. (Worthy of a whole separate post and discussed by him here.) If everything checks out ok with his swimmers, I need to have a hysterosalpingogram done – either by surgery or through dye injected through my you-know-what and x-rays taken of my then dyed parts (wonder what colour they use – would it be too much asked to enquire about pink or blue dye?). Will they give me a snap shot for my memory box? If my tubes check out ok, the next step will be Clomid (which may or may not cause duplicates or triplicates (twins or more).

Failing getting pregnant on that, we will then undertake AI (artificial insemination) – again wondering whether I’ll start moo-ing or flicking my tail (the only beings I’ve heard of undergoing AI  are cows and humans abducted by aliens). If at that stage, we are not pregnant yet and have not decided to give up, we will have to go the IVF route (in vitro fertilization).

Here’s hoping we are successful on the pills – without having to contact companies for sponsorships for our 6/7/8/12 babies-to-be. We’ll cope with 2, even 3 at a stretch, but more than that? You’ll see my hubby running for the hills . . . followed by what looks like a puffing beached whale trying to keep up!

Oi! Nobody said it was going to be easy, did they?

Krista

The first cut . . .

Krista

Lekker by die see . . .

Dit was lekker, maar dis nou klaar.

Dankie BB, dit was nodig. Hoop jy het jou recharge gekry . . .

Krista

Love (5) . . .

And I’m looking forward to the next 60 . . .

I can’t say it enough . . . I love you!

Krista